Bacon!

As everyone whose opinion matters will tell you, bacon is the ultimate meat candy: the one pork product that stands above all others, mocking them in its crispy, sweet way. Give me a couple of slices fresh from the pan and I’m happy. Crumble them up on my cheeseburger and I’m ecstatic. But talk about better ways to prepare bacon and I’m downright crazy.

Some of us (i.e. family) were talking about bacon’s ultimate goodness when I mentioned that it is entirely possible – nay, mandatory! – to interweave one’s bacon and bake it. In the example, you’ll be smothering your bacon square with cheese, then turning it into a bacon and cheese roll, which is fantastic and all. But the bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich you can make instead will have one-hundred-percent bacon coverage. Could life possibly be any more perfect? I think not.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to hop over to my health-insurance company’s Web site to find out if there are any decent cardiologists in the coverage network. I’m probably going to need one soon.