Government General Motors is now offering American auto buyers a seemingly-sweet deal: if you find yourself disliking your new ride within thirty to sixty days, you can return it for the big pile of money that you paid for that piece of crap (minus applicable taxes, naturally).
Of course, it really doesn’t matter how sweet a GM deal seems, because taxpayers with new GM vehicles are, you know, buying the same car twice.
Apparently, thanks to the Department of Homeland (in)Security's recent "ZOMG! Terrorists!" documents, which were released to law-enforcement agencies all over the United States, it's now cool to pull over a guy whose truck sports a Gadsden-flag bumper sticker, tell him that his choice of vehicle decoration is an extremist kind of thing, and hold him while you look into his background.
Gee...the last time I checked, the "Don't tread on me" flag was a symbol of America, much like Old Glory in her various incarnations. The last time I checked, terrorists don't exactly embrace the symbols of the nations they're trying to destroy...I mean, come on - when was the last time you saw Muhammad McBomberson wearing an American-flag tee shirt underneath his bomb vest?
I was also under the impression that all Americans still had our First-amendment rights to freedom of speech and of expression (among the other rights outlined in that particular Amendment).
Yeah...I'll be buying these bumper stickers by the case, just to prove a point.
Some Texas politicians are scum. If you don’t believe me, check out H.B. 738, related to inattentive driving. Should this piece of garbage pass, it will be illegal for Texas drivers to do the following while operating our vehicles:
Interact with pets
Interact with a passenger
Eat or drink
Interact with your stereo, CD player, MP3 player, et cetera (including changing the station or track)
Et cetera, so forth and so on, blah, blah, blah. These are just the most outrageous things that Rep. Chente Quintanilla included in this piece of crap.
Up yours, Quintanilla. You’re an embarrassment to Texans, because you’re in league with the nanny state. Instead of holding people accountable for the things that they choose to do, your introduced legislation attempts to prevent all of us from doing normal, routine things – like talking with passengers or taking a sip of soda while we’re going to work to earn the taxes that pay your useless, miserable ass.
What sort of scum-sucking, anti-freedom oxygen thief would even think of introducing legislation like this?
One of my brothers had to straddle a big ol' chunk of tire on the highway. He was, at the time, driving the Del Sol. This maneuver cracked the front bumper cover: that happy piece of plastic that, for some bizarre reason, costs a lot more than it's actually worth. (Well, the alternative included being creamed by a semi in the next lane, so he obviously did the right thing.)
The stupid bumper cover, which is cracked down the middle and won't, therefore, stay in place without some repair work, is necessary because it covers a reservoir along with a bunch of wiring. It's not a good idea to drive around without this piece of plastic on the front of the car. Really, it's a bad idea. I mean, unless you want to have to invest a lot of money in repairing or replacing damaged parts.
Local auto-body and marine shops don't want to patch the cracked bumper cover. Okay, that's cool. We have to either buy another one (which will cost about $150) or try to patch this one (which will be less expensive). Either way, I'm annoyed because this is just a piece of flimsy plastic. It's not reinforced, or durable. It's actually a big piece of crap, but it's expensive and vital.
This is why I hate newer vehicles. Back when my parents were my age, vehicles had actual, steel bumpers, and that was it. I used to own a '77 Ford pickup. That sucker's bumpers were a lot tougher than pretty much anything else on the road, from tire parts to smaller vehicles. One of my brothers drives a pickup with a steel bumper. He was rear ended, but was able to pull the bumper back into something approximating its original shape - a few minutes with a crowbar did that.
Yes, I know that cars cost money. I understand that I have to invest cash in their repair and maintenance. But for the love of all that's warm and fuzzy, why can't I have a bumper that's more than a seriously overpriced piece of thin, crappy plastic?
The other night, Youngest Bro and his girlfriend went out for dinner. They got pizza, but didn’t eat the whole thing. The leftovers stayed in the back seat of YB’s car, along with their bread sticks, while they went into Walmart to do whatever it is that you do in Walmart when you’re out on a date.
When YB and The Girlfriend went back to the car afterward, they noticed that one of the car’s doors was slightly ajar. Further investigation revealed that the door was open because a pizza thief had opened it, swiped all of their leftover food, and left – all before they returned to the car.
The good news is that The Girlfriend’s purse was not on the floorboard, where she normally leaves the thing when she goes into a store. That night, for whatever reason, she decided to secure the purse in YB’s trunk before going into Walmart. Good for her.
The family and I agree that, if the person who swiped the pizza and breadsticks was hungry, then it’s a sad situation indeed. If that’s the case, our prayer is that the individual is able to find a job, or whatever he or she needs to obtain food without lurking in parking lots, hoping to get lucky. We’ve been hungry before, and don’t want to see other people in the same situation.
On the other hand: if the theft was one of those random, jerky things that delinquents do when they’re bored, we all hope that the sack of crap gets diarrhea for a week straight, with a burning bunghole that doesn’t quit.
The next day, my oldest brother called home to tell us that, the night before, he had stopped at Walmart – the one in his entirely-different part of the state – because he saw a car catch on fire in the lot. He jumped out of his truck to be sure that everyone in the vehicle had gotten out okay. In the middle of doing this random, decent thing, OB heard the distinct sound of his pickup leaving the location.
He turned around to see it being driven off. Because he, not thinking about anything but the people in the vehicle that had just caught on fire, didn’t turn off the engine and take the keys with him. I wouldn’t have either, I don’t think.
The good news is that the police found the truck a few miles away, unharmed. The bad news is that they couldn’t find the keys. OB’s keychain had his truck and apartment keys on it. His insurance card, in the glove box, has his address printed right on the front. So, he’s having both his truck and apartment locks changed.
This is just weird, though, folks, because both of these things happened on the same night, in different parts of Texas, but to the same family. Weirdness. Is it a full moon? Halloween? Or just another one of those weird spells that happen to some people?
I drive a Honda. This car is a '94 model - not a hybrid, and not a new car by most peoples' standards. The rice rocket has nearly 200,000 miles on the engine and has yet to give me major problems. My transmission is in good condition, too.
This car is fun to drive, yes. But more importantly: when I drive conservatively (read: 99.999 percent of the time), I average 42-44 miles per gallon. That's both highway and city driving.
This car cost less than three thousand dollars.
All of these add up to my decision to support foreign auto makers. Not all are fantastic (*Cough*KIA!*Cough*), but Honda's near the top of the list as far as their smaller, fuel-efficient vehicles are concerned. Toyota tends to do well in my experience as well. I would happily get a Camry if I ever want or need a four-door.
When I want a land yacht that averages 20-something MPG, I'll buy an American-made sedan.
When I want to pay way too much for a basic vehicle that will fall apart before my odometer hits 150,000 miles, I'll buy American.
In the meantime, I'm sticking with Honda. This is just good financial sense, folks. I'm going to buy the best that I can afford and, right now, the foreign makers are fulfilling that desire.
Now: If Chrysler, GM and Ford reevaluate what they're doing and come up with something that's equal to, or better than, the foreign competitions' offerings? I'll give them my business. They're going to have to work hard, and change a few things, but they could very well make that happen. I'll be happy to buy American if they pull that off.
Right now, I'm driving my brothers' Del Sol to and from school. (Yes, the apostrophe is in the correct place. Two of my brothers bought this car together: hence, the plural. By the way: if you didn't catch that strange punctuation, don't feel bad. That's an English-nerd kind of thing.)
This car is teh awesomez. Even though the stereo shorts out for some bizarre reason or another and the air conditioner doesn't work, I love driving this little rocket on wheels. I haven't driven a standard in years...not until the Del Sol, anyway. I'd forgotten how much I love to hit the clutch and shift. Oh. And the top comes off. So if you've seen a hot redhead in a Honda, jamming to the radio when it isn't shorted out and, in general, enjoying herself? That was probably me. Blissful. Happy. Because this car rules.
However: today, Mom noticed a very disturbing problem with one of the rear tires. The sidewall had a giant crack running around the thing - and that sucker shifted when I started oh so slowly nudging the car out of the driveway.
In other words: that sucker was about to blow out. Seeing as the "spare" is a cruddy, 50-MPH-max donut, which doesn't really serve me well when I have to drive 70-something miles one way to my school, I had to replace the tire with a new one.
The car, incidentally, has those neat, low-profile tires. They're not very tall, but they're crazy wide. Where I live, this is unusual. I knew this before I started calling tire shops, but I was still disappointed. Around here - rural, RURAL Texas - you just don't see many people rolling around town in cars with low-profile tires. You see plenty of pickups, and lots of "regular" passenger cars. And the tire shops here, like tire shops anywhere else in the nation, cater to the local demand.
The first three shops I called did not have these tires in stock. None would get any until Tuesday at the earliest, which did me no good considering that I have to be in school on Monday. (And no. I can't skip out. I was sick this week and missed most of my classes. Yeah. I pretty much had to deal with this tire, as soon as possible.)
However, the fourth shop did have this tire in stock.
For one hundred dollars.
For one tire.
The good news: I had a hundred bucks.
The better news: One of my brothers was home from work, and was kind enough to throw the tire into the back of his truck and take me to the tire shop.
The best news: The tire shop did not have a long line of customers in front of us, so we were in and out within twenty minutes.
My wallet still needs intense therapy to deal with the trauma, but I think it will be okay in the end.
There is bound to be a cheaper tire source, probably in the Metroplex, that I can use. Because this? This is not cool. At all. I'm fine with the idea of paying good money for tires. I do understand that these things aren't cheap. But a hundred bucks? For one tire? Really? I'm used to watching my Dad fork over a big bill for a PAIR of new, brand-name tires for his car. For a PAIR. Not one. But TWO.
This new tire isn't even a super-cool model that does anything special, like let me drag race against other cars, or channel water out of the path so that I don't hydroplane, or give me an orgasm when I start the engine. It's just. A. Tire.
But at least somebody in town had the sucker in stock, and was able to put it on my rim today.
I've been at my current university for three years now. The first two years, I lived on campus. Because I didn't have a vehicle, I didn't worry about parking. As far as I was concerned, that was the least important thing ever. All I really cared about was having a place to lock up my bicycle when I wasn't riding it around the campus.
But now that I'm commuting, I really care. A lot. If I don't have a parking spot, then I'm basically screwed.
The weird thing is that I hear whining and complaining every semester - including this one - about the lack of parking spots. Students of all classes and types complain because they can't find a spot when they show up for classes. They gripe because they get tickets for parking in the faculty lot...or for double-parking...or for taking one of the almost-nonexistent parking meters and not paying up on time.
As long as I've been at this school, students have been griping. "I can never find a spot!" is the favorite thing to yell about when the student newspaper does its predictable "How's the parking this semester?" story in the first issue.
Now that I've spent a few weeks parking on campus, I conclude that some people are either blind or too lazy to add a few extra feet to their daily walk.
My first day of classes, I watched more than a dozen cars circle the "kinda-close" lot in search of a spot. It was nearly 9:30 in the morning: late by school standards. If you aren't there by 8:30 in the morning, then you aren't getting to park in that lot. Not unless somebody leaves, that is.
On the second day of classes, I watched the same thing happen again. People were showing up half an hour early for classes just so they could drive their cars in circles all over this decent lot. They would - and I am saying this in all seriousness - rather drive around, wasting precious gas (that's more than $2.60 a gallon right now) than just park in another lot.
I, on the other hand, have never had to circle in search of a spot. I drive past the "kinda-sorta good" lot - the one that everybody is circling for half an hour - and pull into the next lot. And I even get to park beneath a big oak tree, which shades the truck in the afternoon.
That spot is only about fifty yards away from the "kinda-sorta okay" lot. No. Really. So I add half of a football field to my morning walk. That's it. I save a good twenty-five minutes every morning because I don't waste time driving aimlessly around in the other lot.
So as far as I'm concerned, the students who aren't handicapped or otherwise incapable of walking a little bit can suck it up and drive on. What they don't realize is that, if they immediately go to the farther lot when they show up in the morning, they'll actually save themselves some time. They can sleep a little later, like I do, because they won't have to waste half an hour driving around. It doesn't take five minutes to walk from my usual spot to the lot that they're trying to use, so the amount of time saved really adds up over the course of the week...and the month...and the semester.
