...if anyone's still reading (can't blame you if you aren't, 'cause I've been way too busy with regular ol' life to update this blog), you should probably update your bookmarks. I'm not going to renew my domain name when it expires because, hey, that's effort - and I can spend the ten bucks on cigarettes.
Hit up this blog at http://likeiknowwhatimdoing.blogspot.com in the future, if you would.
So I'm home from class today because my private road flooded. Frankly: Even though I do enjoy school, and do like actually attending classes, I'm not going to attempt to drive any vehicle over a flooded road, especially when you consider the fact that this section of our road is flooded because there's a creek underneath it. I can think of better, less painful ways to die than drowning, thank you very much. Or, you know, being impaled on one of the numerous sharp, pointy sticks and other debris scattered all over the creek.
In other weirdness: Rodney King recently beat the snot out of a cop...and totally got away with it, because they were doing "Celebrity Boxing."
One of the most-useful sites I've ever stumbled across is Khan Academy: a series of video tutorials that cover quite a bit of the math that you might need or want to master, from the SATs to algebra to a bunch of other concepts.
Did I mention that these video tutorials are free to view? Yeah, that was the selling point for me, too.
Far be it from me to make fun of people for thinking outside of society's usual, accepted boundaries. Creative thinking, after all, is how mankind conceived such kick-ass things as:
The U.S. Constitution
Barbed wire
Semi-automatic handguns
Claymores
The Browning Automatic Rifle
So forth, so on, et cetera, you get the idea...
But there are times when the creative thinking just doesn't work for me.
Tonight, I present Michael Jackson Death Hoax*, a Web site devoted to the idea that the King of Pop's untimely, drug-induced death is, in fact, a publicity stunt and, therefore, not real.
Although some of the points that the writer(s) bring up on this site make you go, "Hmm," I'm not buying it. I'll believe that I really DID see Elvis at that Valero station in Tyler, Texas a few weeks ago before I'll believe that MJ is lurking somewhere on this planet.
* Also known as Michael Jackson Hoax Death because, apparently, the site's creator can't decide which word order he/she prefers.
On Tuesday, there was an interesting post on the White House blog. I won’t bother going into details, because I took a screen capture – might as well just let you see for yourself. I find the whole thing rather disturbing:
"He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother."
- George Orwell, "1984"
No, not really. But this video by Shane Dawson is one of the most hilarious things YouTube's ever hosted. (Psst! Watch out - a bit o' the ol' rough language ahead!)
Yesterday was not a good day for Americans who play poker on the Internet. I'm unhappy, to say the very least, about this whole "Let's take their money - without a warrant, no less! Because we're the feds!" crap.
The Poker Players Alliance has released a statement explaining what in the world is going on:
[NY] PPA Statement on Southern District of NY Action Against Online Poker Players - PPA (06/09/09)
Dear Joan Rivers:
I recently saw a YouTube clip from "The Celebrity Apprentice," in which you called poker players "trash." You were not, judging by what you said - and here comes the clip, just for the record - referring only to Annie Duke (who, admittedly, is annoying as snot - but still).
Yes, I realize that the Vegas of decades past was rife with corruption. Obviously, anyone who's capable of picking up any sort of book that recounts the fabled city's history will know about the mob, and the Binions, and all the other big-time things that have happened there over time.
I realize that poker has a sordid, nasty history. We don't call Aces and eights "the dead man's hand" just because it sounds cool, after all.
But things change, and group dynamics change. And even back when Doyle Brunson was a young'un, there were plenty of poker players who would stab themselves in the face before they'd renege on a deal, or backstab someone. Though not every poker player, then or now, is a wonderful person, there have always been good guys and gals in the game. You fail to see that, and that's your shortcoming, not ours.
What's saddest, though, is that you're nobody, Joan. The only thing that I knew about you before this fiasco was that you were on "Hollywood Squares," which my grandmother watched when I was a young'un. And that, frankly, was a very-dim memory until "The Celebrity Apprentice." How great is that - knowing that you're just a random, tiny recollection based on some grandmother's television-viewing habits?
Even though you're fighting very hard to look like you're only twenty or so, Joan, you're going to die at some point. And when you go, who's going to remember you...and for what?
The poker community - millions of us, by the way, and that's just here in the United States - will remember you as the bitter old woman who called us all trash. People who are addicted to reality TV aren't going to remember much about you, because they have the attention spans of toddlers on meth. Folks who were around back when you were doing stand-up, or whatever you did when you were really as young as you're trying to look now, are going to be either dead or senile, and therefore won't recall anything about you.
Some dusty, old obit will be yanked out of some dusty, old filing cabinet in some newsroom. Some lackey will update the file to include the date of your death, as well as a couple of details about it, then publish it on the Internet and in the papers. But the odds are good that the kid doing that menial, thankless job isn't going to know much of anything about you. He probably won't really care, one way or another, that he's updating Joan Rivers' obit.
Now, you're best known as the woman who pitched a childish tantrum on a game show. This is what people in and near my generation will remember about you every time you make any sort of appearance on television or in the news. Unless you do something huge, and soon, this is what people are going to remember even after you're gone.
There's nothing wrong with being nobody. There's nothing wrong with being somebody. But there's nothing right about being known for being a rotten, nasty, bitter person. Even though I don't particularly care for Annie Duke's on-camera antics, and even though I wouldn't exactly be thrilled to be stuck playing at her poker table, the heat is on you, because you're the one who stereotyped a very-large group of people...many of whom are not even remotely close to being "trash," despite what you think.
So, Joan, the real reality here is that, among "my" kind of people - the trash, don't you know - you're basically a big donk. Congratulations - we very-rarely award the "donk" title to anyone who doesn't play poker, so you should bask in the glory of your awesome achievement.
Sincerely,
A poker player
P.S. LOL Trumpaments!
I’m officially pissed off at keyboards in general right now, because it’s occurred to me that I’ve had to replace mine every 1.5 to 2 years. Writing, school, and work keep me typing for a few hours every day, if not longer. Around my house, I’m notorious for wearing out, breaking, and replacing keyboards, because the modern designs are not nearly as good as the ones that companies like IBM used to crank out.
Let’s see: I’ve been doing lots of typing since about age thirteen or fourteen. With only a few breaks (like when I joined the Army and, obviously, left home) I’ve been mostly responsible for several keyboards’ sad, sad deaths.
There were two early-generation Microsoft Ergo Boards that died. There were at least three cheap, ten-dollar keyboards somewhere in there that I flat wore out. I’ve gone through two of my own, ergonomic keyboards, including a fairly-rugged Belkin that actually held up for a little more than two years despite heavy usage.
Silk-screened letters wear off. Spacebars crap out. Whole sections of the keyboards just stop responding. Even when I routinely clean out these things, and even when I’m very careful to keep crap out of them – liquids, food crumbs, that sort of thing – they still wear out and break long before I think they should.
Right now, I’m using a Microsoft ergonomic model that I’ve had for several months. This thing is starting to piss me off, because the keys aren’t responding like they did when this first came out of the box. These stupid tactile-mat, “dome” ‘boards get that “mushy” feel after awhile, because they’re foreign-made, cheap pieces of garbage. The really-sad part is that I’ll pay ten, sixty, seventy dollars for these pieces of crap.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the IBM “M” model keyboard that I got with an old IBM 286 PC when I was in my mid teens. Even back then, all of this was outdated equipment, but the computer got online and ran Microsoft Word just fine, which were my two main concerns. And the keyboard…oh, my goodness, the keyboard! It weighed several pounds because there was a solid-metal base to it, and the removable key caps were etched: IBM didn’t use silk screening, or stickers, to put the characters on the keys. Even when I pulled off the caps and dumped them in a bucket of soap and warm water, the letters stayed because they were etched.
I could take apart the ‘board, too, and give the plastic top a good scrubbing. Putting the thing back together didn’t take long, and I was good to go for another several months, if not longer, without any work on my part.
Oh…and mine had a coiled cable, much like old telephone cords. Sweet? You bet.
So, I’m on the lookout for another one, and hope that I find an old, dusty one for a few bucks. Otherwise, I’ll have to cough up sixty, eighty bucks at this site for a refurbished model. As much as I appreciate the fact that these people have done all the work for me…I’d really rather save my money and clean up the ‘board myself.
By the way: if I ruled the world, I’d have the rare, ergonomic version. Yes, they did exist. They’re very difficult to find, though, which is sad because that would be absolutely perfect as far as I’m concerned. If you just happen to have one lying around, wasting space in your garage or attic or something, I would LOVE to talk with you about possibly acquiring it. Just saying.
Would anybody care to tell me why our media is not widely, rabidly reporting the fact that Military Police were sent into Samson, Alabama following a civilian's murder spree?
You see, good citizens, the military cannot legally do this sort of thing. Oh, no. They cannot just waltz into a community and do their thing, because that violates federal law.
Even so, the personnel were there, and now people are wondering why.
Why isn't this all over the news? Shouldn't this be the lead story? Shouldn't every major newspaper and TV-news program in the nation cover this? You would think that, because the mainstream media is so awesome at tearing into our military, they'd be all over this. But...they aren't.
Weird.
So...this event is covered in a very-limited fashion, even though it's definitely newsworthy. Fortunately, we don't have to rely on the MSM to give us information. We have Teh Intarwebz, dangit!
(And, to be clear: I love our military. Don't even think that I'm blaming the personnel who were on the ground in Alabama for this. I just despise the thought of the military being used in a manner that violates our current laws, that's all.)
I am all for buying music, or at least legally obtaining used CDs. However, I'm not going to complain when an artist- and industry-approved source of legally-free downloads pops up - not unless there's some sort of major problem with the service, anyway.
Lately, I've been grabbing music from SpiralFrog: a service that's completely free because it's ad supported. There are pros and cons to this site, so you'll want to know a little about that before you go sign up, I'm sure.
The Pros:
Legally-free music. SpiralFrog has a huge catalog. They're constantly adding new and old releases alike, giving me plenty of choices. Not every artist is represented, of course. Metallica is, naturally, absent, because they're a bunch of silly men who don't understand that they could be MAKING MONEY off this service. The Beatles aren't represented, either, and you're going to have a bit of a tough time finding independent artists here.
The advertisements are embedded on the Web site. You don't have to interact with them at all unless you choose to do so. They don't pop up (if you use FireFox, anyway - I've never visited this site with another browser, so I could be wrong here), and you don't have to click on them to start your downloads.
The search function is actually pretty decent. It's not too difficult to find what I want, if the site has it available at least.
The Cons:
The audio quality is not as good as what you would get on CD. If you're particular about your music, this might not work for you. But if you really don't care, it's worth it.
You can download only one song at a time. This stinks if you have a super-mega-fast Internet connection. I for one would love to be able to grab three or four songs at a time.
The files are copy protected. This lockdown prevents Microsoft's Zune and Apple's iPod from recognizing, much less playing, your files. This is stupid. This is pointless, because you fulfilled your end of the bargain (having the ads on the Web site while you browse and download) and, therefore, have paid up. This is also easily fixed for less than twenty bucks courtesy of a wonderful little program called TuneBite. It's well worth the investment. Trust me.
You have to log in at least once every thirty days and download a song file. Otherwise, your already-downloaded files expire. You can reclaim them, without downloading again, by logging in later. This isn't a big deal, because I imagine that most of us will show up once a month to download a song or two. However, the licensing agreements that require this are just, well, stupid. This goes back to that whole "dude, I paid up, so to speak" argument.
You do have to download a small piece of software to make SpiralFrog work on your PC. There is not, the last time I checked, a Mac version, meaning that you Apple-kissing, self-righteous snobs will just have to keep using the iTunes store at .99 a pop, plus tax, to satisfy your elitist cravings. Boo-hoo.
Overall, SpiralFrog is well worth the time. Free downloads that the artists and RIAA support? Sweet.
Also: there are other, similar sites out there, that attempt to do the same thing. One site - and I can't remember which one, sorry - embeds ads either before or after the song. So, every time you play the song that you've legally downloaded, you get to listen to an ad. Yeah, that sounds like fun, doesn't it? SpiralFrog's idea is way better.
So, um, you remember how it was back in the day, when Brody and the rest of The Distillers were tearin' up the punk scene and all that good stuff? And, uh, do you still get all excited when your media player of choice is in shuffle mode, and suddenly picks up "Beat Your Heart Out" or, well, pretty much any other track from Coral Fang? Yeah, me too.
If you missed Brody tons and tons, you're going to want to go to Spinnerette's Web site and download their new EP, Ghetto Love. This is Brody's new band, and they've finally produced something that we can buy and enjoy!
It's only five bucks. Really, folks, that's a fair price to pay for four awesome tracks, plus digital copies of the EP's artwork and some videos.
Edit: I just found the EP at SpiralFrog. This is a legal, free download site. I don't know why I didn't check there first, seeing as I've been a SpiralFrog user for a few months or so now. Oh, well. The purchased downloads are higher quality than the SpiralFrog downloads, so I did get something good for my money.
However, this is not "The Distillers, Part 2: The Reunion." Spinnerette has a pop-tinted rock sound that The Distillers never quite achieved, even when they cranked out their last album. Spinnerette shows us a Brody who's still angry, and who can still bash out hardcore lyrics...but she's more controlled, and the backing music isn't quite what you would expect. As long as you're down with an artist growing and changing, without losing any of the talent and uniqueness that made her so awesome, you'll probably dig the new work.
This is good stuff - really good. I thoroughly enjoy the new EP. It's solid, both musically and lyrically. Brody's officially back, and she's as talented and entertaining as ever.
Go. Download. Enjoy.
And if you, for some bizarre reason, do not own any Distillers albums, you can check out eMusic or Amazon to get your fix. Just saying.
Well, okay. This might not be *the* sickest poker bet ever, but it's pretty close.
A twenty-two year-old online player nicknamed spacegravy is currently working on winning a bet that he can rack up forty thousand dollars' worth of online tournament winnings in one month - by playing nothing but $60 sit-and-go tourneys on Stars.
Now...for those of you who don't play poker, don't know what I'm talking about, et cetera: this is a nearly-impossible feat. Gravy can buy into any $60 tourney he wants on Stars, but only the $60 games count.
So, it costs him $60 to enter each tourney, and his winnings depend on the number of players. Finishing out of first does earn him some money, but taking down the tourneys breaks down like this as far as winnings go:
Nine-man SnG: $247.50.
Forty-five-man SnG: $767.26.
He's going to have to cash in a buttload of tourneys to make forty grand in profit. He multi-tables like a dude on crack - which of course increases his hourly win rate.
Too bad I don't usually bet on other peoples' performances (sporting events, for example) or I would probably bet that the dude pulls it off. It seems insane, and impossible, but he's done something similar before. This bet is in the early stages, and he did have a massive downswing early on, but I really think that he can do it.
Even if he doesn't, well, it's been fascinating to watch the dude.
My Mom and I really need to get out more.
Mom: I have two choices for you.
Me: I choose “Cleveland.”
Mom: “Cleveland” is “Do the dishes.”
Me: Then I choose “Springfield.”
Mom: Good. “Springfield” is “Make dinner.”
Me: “Austin.”
Mom: “Do dishes and make dinner.”
Me: “Los Angeles.”
Mom: “Clean the bathroom.”
Me: Fine. “Akron.”
Mom: “Clean the kitchen.”
Me: Which option is “Go play online” anyway?
Mom: None.
Me: I give up. I’ll go with “Springfield.”
Mom: Good choice. The good knives are in the dish drainer.
Huge thanks to Tam for sending some Dear Readers my way. Okay. It's not "some" so much as "Holy cow - more than, like, four people have seen my blog now!"
Tonight, let's talk about Stuff That Rocks.
One: Sonic has a dollar menu. The Jr. burger? Worth a dollar plus tax. Yay! Now I can afford to grease up my arteries a little more often. Thank you, Sonic, for making your killer burgers more affordable to us po' folk.
Two: I just picked up another David Sedaris book (not his latest, but that will come soon enough, I'm sure). If you like creative nonfiction, you should read this guy's collections. He's hilarious.
Three: Japanese people trying to teach other Japanese people how to speak English. This video...oh, man. I had to capture the audio and make a ring tone, because it makes me laugh so hard every time I see or hear it.
I know that some of you are accessing the Internet from shared connections: university and/or work. That being the case, you might not be allowed to download Firefox and use that instead of Internet Explorer.
Good news: Firefox has a portable version. You can run the browser, with many of your favorite add-ons, from your USB (flash) drive. This eliminates the need to install anything on the PC in question. This might be useful information for those of you who use Firefox at home, but can't at school/work because of those systems' programming.
That way, you aren't stuck with cruddy IE, which is a giant, steaming turd of a Web browser. Inferior security, not nearly as customizable as Firefox, and, oh yeah, a Microsoft program. (Yep. I knock Bill Gates' offerings even though I'm a die-hard Windows lover.)
Tweaker's post about pet peeves got me thinking about one that really drives me nuts.
Mindless rumor spreading drives me insane. Yes, I do know that we all sometimes get our facts wrong. That's part of being imperfect human beings. In fact: I'm probably going to get something wrong in this blog post, despite my careful research. Hey, I'll accept the consequences, because it's my own fault if it does happen.
However, I get frothy around the mouth and take up the challenge of verbally tearing apart somebody's crappy argument when I hear him/her spreading crap without even pausing to consider that it could just be yet another rumor. Oh, boy, do I ever love ripping the myths to shreds with a curious look and a, "Where'd you find that information?" Hee. People can't openly admit that they heard it from some guy or gal they know, so they say nothing. Unless sputtering counts. Hee. Man, I love that dazed look they get when I call shenanigans on their "facts."
Many of us have some sort of access to the Internet, which contains the sum of all human knowledge if you know how to type a few key words. But people can't even visit Snopes.com to confirm that the crap they're spreading is true, can they? Nope!
One example that's been bugging me lately: the myth that actors and actresses must wear incorrect uniforms, or intentionally foul up other aspects of their work, when representing the U.S. military. They, according to the myth, must do a few things wrong because, if they don't, they're guilty of impersonating military personnel. This, people say, is why you see so many movies and TV shows with actors and actresses wearing the wrong service's awards...or sporting incorrect rank insignia...or saluting the wrong way.
Nope! The law states no such thing. In fact: actors and actresses are specifically mentioned in the law - as people who are allowed to portray military personnel without accusations of impersonation. Don't believe me? Check this out.
Specifically, scroll down and hit this section, which addresses exemptions like this:
(f) While portraying a member of the Army, Navy, Air Force, or
Marine Corps, an actor in a theatrical or motion-picture production
may wear the uniform of that armed force if the portrayal does not
tend to discredit that armed force.
It looks like a mega-buttload of people are trying to find a video clip of Stewie ("Family Guy") singing the "Establishment" song.
Look. I don't have it, okay? It's copyrighted material, and FOX is fairly adept at enforcing its legal holdings. Even if I had that season on DVD, I wouldn't rip that clip to my hard drive to share with y'all. I have better things to do than square off with a mega-network over a video clip. Really. Like...clip my toenails, or pick cat hair off my favorite baseball cap.
You can, however, go buy season four of "Family Guy" on DVD and enjoy that clip to your heart's content.
Episode number fifteen: ""Brian Goes Back to College (And Stewie Goes With Him for Obvious Comedic Reasons)" - that's the one you want.
You can pick up the set at pretty much any discount-department/entertainment store, as well as Amazon, online-auction sites, et cetera. A lot of retailers will probably even have this sort of thing on sale soon, it being the holiday-shopping season and all.
P.S. Learn the rules!
