Holidays; Candy

Have a wonderful Good Friday and Easter, everyone. I'm slightly disappointed because Mom renewed the Peep Control Act of 2006 for yet another year. Sigh. Just because I brought home twelve boxes of Peeps the day after Easter ONE time...and just because half of those Peeps were still festering in her cupboard when I brought home a buttload of Halloween Peeps...well...that doesn't give her the right to ban them, does it? Apparently, it does.

Oh, well. I'll just have to enjoy my sickly-sweet, pure-sugar treats vicariously...as usual:

Church is Weird

I've always wondered why we Southern Baptists joke around with the Catholics about their rituals, when we have rituals of our own.

I mean, really. When we insist on singing X number of songs on Sunday morning? It's a ritual. When we just have to have a dismissal prayer before we leave the church on Wednesday nights? Another ritual. We really do have 'em, folks, even if we don't want to admit that we have this in common with some of the other denominations.

And believe me: we Baptists and our ever-present food? Biggest, most-rigid ritual ever. Heaven and Earth help you if you forget to bring your world-famous tater salad to the fellowship supper. You might as well go to Walmart on Sunday mornings and hang out with the heathens if you're going to do that.

Israel and Hamas

Yahoo! News tells me that Israeli's launched a large-scale (for them, anyway) retaliation against Hamas. Israel's countering the rocket attacks that have been coming out of Gaza: a section of land that Israel unwisely gave to the terrorists a few years ago in the hope that this would appease the scumbags. More recently, Hamas started yet another round of bullshit in defiance of a peace treaty that both sides had agreed to uphold. They started this crap, and now they're whining because they got their asses kicked. Apparently, it was okay for them to spend weeks launching rockets into Israel, but it's not okay for Israel to a) warn them to stop, then b) take action.

Israel's been warning them for days that this was coming. Any of the boo-hooing over dead civilians is crap, because they knew that Israel was coming. The civilians had a few DAYS to get out of the way, but chose to ignore the warnings. They were sending their children off to school, as if this were just an ordinary day. If they're that stupid, then they deserve what they get. If Israel announced that they were sending somebody to kick ass in MY neighborhood because terrorists were using this area to launch an offensive against them...I'd grab my stuff and leave immediately.

I know that many Muslims do not believe the "let's go murder all unbelievers!" garbage that the Islamofascists embrace. I know that a good number of Islamic leaders do not teach that crap. But those who do teach this, and those who perpetuate the terrorism, believe with all their rotten hearts that they're heading to eternal rewards for murdering as many unbelievers as possible. They believe that 72 virgins await them in their heaven. They believe that their god will reward them, for eternity, for killing men, women, and children.

When you're dealing with a group of nutjobs who are not afraid of death - who, in fact, welcome death because they're convinced that eternal rewards await them for yanking the rip cord on the bomb vest - you can't negotiate or reason. You take a few cents' worth of ammo and send them to meet God. That's all you can do in the face of such murderous insanity. This is how you preserve innocent life: by taking out those who would destroy it.

And yes. I am a big, fat warmonger. I am 100 percent in favor of killing terrorists. Personally, I wish that they'd all go to one area and shove out all the civilians who disagree with them. Then somebody could drop a nuke on that region and be done with the problem. Unfortunately, anti-terrorist measures aren't that simple. Too bad, really, because nuking them all in one spot would be simple...and oh, so cool.

Dumbledore Was Gay - So What?

“Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling recently revealed that beloved Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore was gay. And I recently revealed that I don’t give a rip one way or the other.

I’m a Southern Baptist (read: evil fundie jerk). I don’t agree with the homosexual lifestyle. But even though that’s my belief, I don’t try to shove it up somebody else’s nose. All I ask is that I receive the same courtesy. Don’t try to force me to accept something – and I won’t try to force you to change.

As far as I can tell, none of the seven Harry Potter books gave any indication that Dumbledore was gay. And even if there had been strong hints (or outright proclamations), this particular subject had nothing to do with the storyline. Dumbledore’s persona lifestyle did not affect Harry’s quest to save the world; Voldemort’s plan to eradicate Harry, or everyday life at Hogwarts. Dumbledore’s orientation did not affect the books one way or the other, so it’s utterly and completely irrelevant as far as I’m concerned. I don’t care. So he was gay. Big deal. Nothing is different – including my love of the books – because of this trivial bit of information.

But even though this has nothing to do with anything, people are wondering why Rowling revealed this information. Why, after the books were finished, did she feel the need to drop this big old secret on the fans?

This is not about publicity. She’s got more of that than she can handle. Her books are still selling almost as fast as the presses can print them. The films are still being made and released (and the DVDs are moving, too). Rowling has speaking engagements, autograph signings, and tentative plans to write a Hogwarts encyclopedia to satisfy the most curious of fans. Any time she wants HP-related attention, she’s got it. She doesn’t have to drop surprises on fans, the media, or anti-Harry crowds to make the news.

I don’t think that Rowling was trying to give the metaphorical bird to the religious right, either. She doesn’t really have to work to tick off my fellow fundies. The fact that the books use words like “magic” and “witch” is enough to turn otherwise-civilized people into shrieking, babbling masses. And even though all seven books have been published, the anti-Potter crowd can still complain about the upcoming films. And they can always buy copies of the encyclopedia, should Rowling write and publish it, and have yet another bonfire. It’s not like the religious right will run out of things to complain about.

My best explanation for the “Dumbledore confession” is that Rowling always imagined this character as a gay man. I’m a writer, myself. I know how that sort of thing goes. When a character comes to mind, you really can’t do much to change things up. You can put a different suit on your dentist, or you can give him red hair instead of black, but he’s still a dentist. You can’t change your guy or gal’s essence. If you try to give your dentist a different profession, he or she will keep circling back to the teeth and gums. You can’t help that – and if you try, your character will be a cardboard fake that not many readers will believe.

I think that, when Rowling began planning the HP series oh so many years ago, Dumbledore was already a homosexual wizard. This is not something that’s vital to the storyline, but it’s part of that character’s identity. Even though there aren’t any obvious (or even subtle, if I recall correctly) hints about this part of Dumbledore’s lifestyle, it’s still part of Dumbledore.

And how I feel about Dumbledore doesn’t change just because Rowling told the world that he was gay. He was the ultimate good guy, which I love about him. He was wise, kind and always ready with the right answer to the other characters’ endless questions and needs. Even when people dumped all over Dumbledore, he kept his composure – and at least a small measure of compassion.

None of that changed just because Rowling announced that Dumbledore didn’t dig the ladies. The guy was still Dumbledore. And if this character were a real person – a man I actually knew – I would feel the same way. I wouldn’t dump a good, kind friend for being gay.

So: what’s the big deal? I don’t really see it, to be honest. Some might claim that Rowling is trying to sneak in a “tolerance and acceptance” message, but that’s not a new thing for her. All of the Harry Potter books address tolerance in one form or another. “Mudbloods” versus wizards, for example. Poor versus wealthy. Squibs versus talented wizards.

There’s nothing wrong with being tolerant of other people. I don’t mean that we have to say, “Okay, homosexuality’s fine and I don’t have any problem with it.” What I mean is that, even though we don’t necessarily agree with the lifestyle, there’s more to other people than just that one thing. You and I can love the real-life Dumbledores without compromising our faith or beliefs. In fact: that’s what Jesus taught us to do.